Three buildings in were overrun by squirrels – the town hall, the hardware store, and the church. The town hall brought in some cats. But after they tore up all the files, the mayor got rid of the predators, and soon the squirrels were back.

The hardware store humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free outside town. But three days later, the squirrels climbed back in.

Only the church came up with an effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and made them members. Now they see them only on Christmas and Easter.
 

When a woman applies for a job at a citrus grove, the foreman asks, “Do you have any experience picking lemons?”

“Well,” she answers, “I’ve been married three times.”

Boy, it’s cold out. It’s so cold, I saw a chicken with a capon.

Question: What do you call a pig that does karate?

Answer: Chop soooey!